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That puts you in a position where you're far more likely to get emotionally involved, even when you don't plan to... and if they don't feel the same way, it'll put a huge strain on your friendship. 3 of 14 Benefit: None of the other 'responsibilities' You don't need to meet their family and you don't even need to call them if you don't want to. There are times in your life when a relationship isn't what you want - perhaps you want to focus on your career, or you know you're moving to another city, or you just want to be single, says Kerner. At these times, being able to enjoy sex with someone you know and are comfortable with without strings can seem like an ideal solution. 4 of 14 Loss: None of the other benefits If you want a date to take to your friends wedding, your FWB is not the ideal person. If you want someone whose shoulder you can cry on when you've had a bad day, your FWB is not the ideal person. If you want a someone to snuggle up with on the sofa, your FWB is not the ideal person.
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If you find out your FWB is interested in someone else, that's okay because they're not cheating on you. You're free to date anyone you want, too. 13. Don't Leave The Bedroom After a few nights of what's hopefully amazing sex, don't feel forced to start doing date-like things like going shopping together, seeing a movie, or—in Carrie Bradshaw's case on "Sex and the City"—inviting them to dinner because you connect so well in the bedroom, you assume it'll translate elsewhere. As Carrie learned with the less-than-scintillating McFadden: Keep your chemistry contained to the bedroom where it belongs. If you decide you both have stronger feelings, it'll happen organically. Versions of this article were originally published in October 2014 and 2018.
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Even though you may know there are no emotions involved and that you're still open to a relationship with someone else, someone looking in from the outside might see it differently, says Kerner. They may not want to step on the other person's toes, or may wonder whether you're the right person for them if you're happy to have sex with someone you're not with (bin them off if so! ). 13 of 14 Benefit: You might fall in love The act of sex makes your body do things that are beyond your control: orgasm causes the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, so named because it makes you feel close and intimate with the person you're with. A whole other cascade of hormones make you feel excited the same way you do after a going on a rollercoaster. Your body is sending your brain signals of love, of emotional connection, even if your mind is saying you can keep things strictly business, says Kerner. That might mean that you'll end up falling in love with each other. And who knows? With a firm basis in friendship to begin with, it could end up being a long-term relationship.
How should one address it? When the lines start blurring, things can get messy, and your fun, friendly hookup becomes just another source of drama. To avoid confusion, awkwardness, and disappointments, here are some things to keep in mind. Of course, every situationship is different, but these are some hard and fast rules you might want to pay attention to before getting in too deep with a friend. 1. Choose Someone Honest You need to make sure that you two are open about everything, as both of you need to be on the same page in case either of you start developing feelings for the other. Same thing goes if one person wants to end it. You both have to be okay with the end result, so an lines of trust and honest communication are key. 2. Speak Your (Sex) Mind The main point of having a FWB is to have amazing, satisfying sex, no? Be vocal about what you like and what you don't like—and encourage your partner to do the same. You never have to try anything you don't feel comfortable with, of course, but let one another know what you're into and see if you have a shared sexual fantasy you can finally live out.
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3. Groom As If They Were Your Significant Other Even though you don't want a relationship, it's not fair to your friend with benefits if you show up to your trysts with prickly legs, stained undies, and dirty hair. I guarantee you'd be pissed if your FWB showed up with smelly underarms and greasy hair of their own! Common courtesy, y'all. 4. Ensure You're Emotionally Ready Casual sex can be anything but casual if you aren't emotionally prepared. Some people are able to disassociate the act from the emotion, but others struggle with this, and that's okay. A lot of us are programmed to feel a connection after we sleep with someone, so you need to make sure you're 100 percent okay with having sex that won't lead to anything deeper. Toa Heftiba/Unsplash 5. Practice Safe Sex—Always Condoms! Are! Lifesavers! Not only do they prevent you from having little babies with a partner you're not interested in long-term, but they also make sure you stay STD-free, which is key when you're having sex with someone you're not monogamous with.